10 Phrases For Happy Couples

It is not only the words that have great influence on a relationship. But they are an important influence to observe.

Phrases From Happy Married Couples

The following are 10 examples of loving words that can promote quality in a couple relationship.

1. "I'm here for you."

Couples who continually remind each other that they have each other's backs are better able to handle challenges and build deep trust over the long term.

Together through thick and thin: keep letting your love know you're there for them.

2. "Can I help you?"

Independent people who simultaneously know they are allowed to accept and offer help in a relationship hold the key to success. Whether it's filling out a tax return, mending an appliance, or simply cooking a fine dinner when your counterpart is stressed, small acts of kindness strengthen the team spirit.

Give and take - the best relationships are the ones where both people can draw energy and strength from each other.

3. "I'm sorry."

Admitting when you're off takes effort. Swallow your pride and own up to it when you weren't right: It bonds and allows you both to move on without resentment.

4. "Yes, it fits."

Of course, you don't have to say YES and AMEN to everything. Do you want to have children? Where would you like to live? These are big conversations that require full honesty and self-knowledge. Small things, on the other hand, are often not worth long discussions. Does the person you're dating suggest which restaurant to make reservations at? Say a hearty YES every now and then, that speaks for your open heart and your flexibility.

O course, a relationship can not always experience the bliss of heaven. The hectic pace of our times, the culture of our materialistic meritocracy takes its toll. Congratulations for all the maturity that can nevertheless be lived in Your relationship.

5. "Thank you."

Five letters with a huge impact. If you appreciate each other all the time and express it, you'll be in love longer. Remember, it's not a given that you get to go through life together. So acknowledge even small everyday actions like cleaning out the dishwasher, and thank each other for it every now and then.

Everyday life can be quite hectic. Stop every now and then and register the little things your partner does for you.

6. "You look amazing"

Regular reminders that your significant other is still attracted to you feel great. This doesn't require hundreds of compliments a day (nothing wrong with that, of course, if that's your thing), but an affectionate comment every now and then, such as, "I love those pants on you," or "your laugh still blows me away."

Compliments are good for the soul - don't forget to tell your significant other what you love about her or him every now and then.

7. "I believe in you"

The greatest gift is to give someone confidence. Encourage your better half again and again, tell her that she is on the right track or that you fully believe that she will grab something. This does good in the soul and boosts your partner's self-confidence.

8. "I'm sorry"

Admitting when you were wrong takes effort. Swallow your pride and own up to it when you weren't right: It bonds and allows you both to move on without resentment.

A sincere apology shows greatness and lets quarrels be forgotten more quickly.

9. "I wish that_"

No one can read minds, no matter how close you are with the other person or how many years you've been together. Happy Couples therefore talk openly about their needs and are not too proud to state their expectations clearly. So rather than just hoping to see the person standing at the track when you roll in, say, "I'd be thrilled to have you pick me up at the train station."

Are you in the mood for a romantic picnic? Then say it exactly that way instead of hoping for a miracle.

10. "I'm working on me"

Happy couples know that it takes constant development to stay together for a long time. Only those who are really honestly interested in looking closely and also wiping at their own doorstep are good partners. Because: Nobody is responsible for your life, except you alone. So don't blame all your problems on your partner, but actively help him or her to grow together.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

How is the Communication in Your Relationship?

What is your communication tip for a happy relationship and more love?

Feel free to leave us a comment below!

Here is the link to a blog that can help:

Proper Listening - A Guarantee for Success

"Mom Will Do It !"

Most of the time they are mums who keep track of all the little things in everyday family life. But when do you reach the limit of being overwhelmed?

One child urgently needs new shoes, the other should definitely be registered at the dentist and should be reminded to practice the piano. Then you should buy the youngest suitable summer clothes. Yes, then there is the grandmother's birthday, which must not be forgotten. Then there is summer vacation planning. We urgently need a hotel reservation.

All really small tasks that do not take up much time. But to ensure that everyday life runs smoothly, mum needs a lot of organizational talent.

In the traditional family setting, it's usually the ladies who do most of the family thinking. No wonder they sometimes push their limits!!

It's wonderful when mom finds time to play. When the father comes home and then finds 10 minutes for each child to play, then the day has gone perfectly and sleep will be deep and sound.

The House Work

You may be familiar with the expression 'mental load'. Mental stress affects mothers in particular, who are marked by housework, of which they do at least 70 percent in Switzerland, for example. Because of our social role models, many women feel responsible for managing family life.

However, mental overload is also occasionally an issue for men or childless women. But now - if over a longer period of time and without enough rest breaks - this stress level of being overwhelmed can become too great. One child urgently needs new shoes, the other should definitely be registered at the dentist and should be reminded to practice the piano. Then you should buy the youngest suitable summer clothes. Yes, then there is the grandmother's birthday, which must not be forgotten. Then there is summer vacation planning. We urgently need a hotel reservation.

All really small tasks that do not take up much time. But to ensure that everyday life runs smoothly, mum needs a lot of organizational talent.

In the traditional family setting, it's usually the ladies who do most of the family thinking. No wonder they sometimes reach their limits!!r

This can then manifest itself in the form of health problems, irritability, sleep disorders, compulsion to ponder, tachycardia or other tension, which can lead to depression.

Mental overload can then affect the whole family and also strain their relationships inside and outside. Younger women often need psychotherapeutic support.

If the man can help his sweetheart with the housework, then that significantly supports family happiness!

High Standards

High standards usually lead to stress. There is often a degree of perfectionism involved. Mothers tend to like to compare themselves to others. However, this can also easily lead to them classifying themselves as insufficient in certain areas if their performance does not come off well in comparison.

The apartment must always be sparkling clean, the meals healthy and home-cooked and the children's birthdays perfectly organized.

In addition to the work, there is also a lot of effort for planning and organization. Because this mental work is not visible to others, it is not recognized.

High standards - perfectionism is even worse - make family happiness difficult. It should be beautiful, but not perfect, because it often feeds fears that run counter to love.

Good Strategies

Communication

Keep in touch with each other. Tell each other about your everyday experiences, what makes you happy or what bothers you. Try - and it's not always easy - to refrain from all sorts of blame. Listen carefully and try to understand the other person and if you can also express your appreciation and gratitude, then you've won.

Decisions

Make sure that there are not only discussions, but that new rules and standards are also defined. Because such will lead your life further into maturity. Distinguish between NICE TO HAVE (desirable) and NEED TO HAVE (necessary).

Notes

On a generally visible board you can list the upcoming tasks. To do this, enter the estimated time it takes to complete them - how often and by when they have to be done and who is responsible for them.

Older children can also be included.

Anyone who takes on a task strives for completeness - from planning to completion. Done should be marked. Redistribute the tasks regularly and evaluate together whether the work was well organized.

A family calendar can support and facilitate the coordination of appointments and responsibilities.

Reflection

From time to time it's good to reflect on which of all of this has become really important. Why are we doing this or that? Where are the motivators? Question your standard requirements and allow yourself adjustments.

At a family reunion -

for example weekly on Friday evening -

the past week can be reflected, the coming weekend and maybe even the week can be discussed in advance.

By doing this, you strengthen family ties and give each family member the opportunity to contribute and become an important part of the family story.

5 Habits for a Healthy Marriage

Let's get specific. What habits can you build into your life that will positively affect your marriage?

Important: This blog is written for my wife Terri-Lynn and myself as much as for anyone else… we are after more than 40 years of marriage still working on how to make each other even more happy.

With that, let’s give it a try:

Habit 1: Talk about important things

It’s one thing for us to say “communicate daily”. Thanks Captain Obvious…

Small talk is fine. Playful joking is fun! Scheduling and task-related talks are crucial. However, if you never consciously build emotional & spiritual intimacy, you risk creating a shallow communication culture in your household.

Communicating about deeper things intentionally will build honesty and vulnerability that is endearing, edifying, and strengthening.

How?

This is largely up to you, but Selena and I have found two things that work well for us.

·        High/Lows: It’s basic. Just discuss the best part of your day, then the worst part of your day. How did you feel when each happened? Why is it the best/worst part? These questions make a great dinner-time conversation starter, and kids can participate too.

·        Devotions – we ask questions about what we’re reading in Scripture and praying about. Discuss the things of God together–His truths. This will deepen your walk with Him and your relationship with your spouse.

Prayer together has great potential. Increasing the two-way relationship with our Creator connects us with the universe. If God can have a say for us, then everything will be fine.

Habit 2: Pray for each other, out loud, together.

We definitely encourage couples to pray together. But sometimes the default is to pray about things that are “outside” of the marriage. What I’m suggesting here is much different.

Pray for your spouse, out loud, face-to-face, and holding hands. Pray for their health, concerns, peace, wisdom, etc. It’s biblical and God is faithful to show up and soften hearts when we gather in His name. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” That’s truth.

How about a vacation together somewhere on a romantic beach? Even after being married for over 10 years, this is still possible and gives the partnership a lot of liveliness.

Gewohnheit 3: Intimität und Termine planen

Das Leben wird beschäftigt, nichts Neues. Nichts zeigt Ihre Prioritäten besser an als Ihr Zeitplan. Stellen Sie sicher, dass Ihr Ehepartner wirklich eine Priorität hat, indem Sie sich in Ihrem Kalender Zeit für ihn nehmen. Nur weil Sie verheiratet sind, heißt das nicht, dass Sie aufhören, sich zu treffen und romantisch zu sein.

Wie?

Selena und ich fanden Folgendes in unserer Ehe hilfreich:

• Nehmen Sie sich täglich Zeit füreinander. Wir verbringen jeden Morgen zusammen. Normalerweise wache ich zuerst auf, beginne meine Andachten und sie kommt heraus, wenn ich fertig bin. Wir trinken zusammen Kaffee, sitzen und reden. Normalerweise teile ich, was ich lese, und wir besprechen, was wir an diesem Tag tun.

• Stimmen Sie der Häufigkeit von Sex zu, die erforderlich ist, um Sie intim zu halten. Wir wissen beide, dass wir, um gesund zu sein, alle 3 Tage oder so körperlich intim sein müssen. Dies dient einem physiologischen Bedürfnis (ich bin schließlich ein Mann!), aber es hält uns auch auf eine Weise verbunden, die nur für die Ehe und nur für sexuelle Intimität gilt.

• Verabreden Sie sich. Stellen Sie einen Babysitter ein und gehen Sie zu einem Date aus. Sei einfach ein verliebtes Paar. Tun Sie dies mindestens ein paar Mal im Monat.

Habit 4: Live beneath your means

Finances are one of the biggest problem areas for marriages. This isn’t because money itself is problematic, but rather because of how it’s managed.

Overspending is a huge problem in our culture, and consumer debt is out of control. We must be good stewards of our finances, according to God’s principles, or risk causing disorder and chaos in this area of our lives and marriages.

How?

Create habits of living beneath your means by discussing what your budget is and how purchasing decisions will be made. Here are some tangible ideas:

·        Agree. Seek agreement on what’s most important so you can filter out unwise purchases.

·        Use cash. Credit card spending can cause trouble, so if you use them, make sure you can zero out your balance each month. If you know overspending is a problem, it’s wise to cut up the credit cards (we did).

·        Reduce expenses. If you’re perpetually short on money and you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, something has to change. Consider what you can trim out of your budget (expensive car? cable TV?).

·        Always tithe. Tithing is more about your heart than your money. When you tithe, you’re saying that you trust God more than you trust money, your job, or your ability to earn income. God loves you and He loves to care for his kids. Tithing is tangible evidence that you actually believe that truth.

Remember Matthew 6:26: Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Inviting others to a tasty dinner as a team, that would be something! Maintaining fellowship with others is very important. With each other, for each other and for others, that's a great recipe!

Habit 5: Serve others together

We strongly believe that your marriage is your ministry. You serve and honor each other as spouses, and together you can extend that ministry to your community. In all instances of Christ-like love, Christ is glorified. This is our ultimate purpose as humans: to glorify God.

Serving together is an incredibly valuable habit since it will consistently remind you that your core purpose is to bring God glory, not yourself happiness. (Happiness is good, just not as our primary goal.)

How?

The possibilities for serving are vast, here are some suggestions:

·        Serve in your local church.You may not serve on the same team, but you can serve at the same times. Plus, the Church is God’s plan A for reaching the lost.

·        Serve your community.Serve the poor, orphans, and widows in your community. Homeless shelters, assisted living homes, and other organizations are all in need of consistent, engaged, help. Maybe that’s you?

·        Open your home. Consider inviting couples over who are going through a tough time. Make a meal, talk, and just be friends to them.

How to Communicate Truth

Communicating truth is not always easy when one is unfavorably tightly bound. Our constraints and limits often prevent us from saying efficiently and empathically what is on our mind.

The Problem

We all know that honesty is one of the most important parts of a strong and happy marriage and family. But what is just as important to understand is how to best communicate the truth so that positive results can be obtained from it.

A comedian can afford, he has to, to talk like that, without thinking, to say as much nonsense as possible. But one of us must pay attention to the results of our words in order not to endanger our social future.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Level-headed and mindful, let's say reasonable people who can easily call their own above-average emotional intelligence, think twice before saying anything important. They want to be considerate of the feelings of others or the possible effects of their words. (LINK)

Those who are strong with EQ have an advantage everywhere. It is worth taking the time to integrate this topic into your own being. There are some Blogs that can help.

Challenges

Well, we all carry legacy emotions from our childhood. We can't just put them down somewhere, but have to use them to design our future as constructively as possible. Not always that easy!

We are products of our families of origin. Who and what we are depends significantly on our positive and negative interactions with our environment and, of course, heavily on our family, our loved ones. It is logical that we also faced certain challenges, sometimes even wounds. These lead to the fact that if someone comes near a wound, we can feel hurt. This then challenges us to a corresponding protective reaction.

Communication

Our daily interactions with our family and friends should serve to promote our growth in the spiritual, physical, intellectual and also spiritual area. This is intended to successfully master our social life. Christians learn that it is not just about me, but also about what is important to my fellow human beings.

This state of maturity has an impact on the way we communicate.

In Marriage and Family

Neither women nor men should be tempted to use hurtful words towards a spouse or family member. While it is clearly important to acknowledge the importance of the truth, it should be communicated with kindness and compassion, especially in marriage and family.

How couples communicate with each other says something about their EQ. Self-esteem is of course also associated with the EQ, which also has a strong influence on our conversation behavior.

An obvious rule - it is called THE GOLDEN RULE - is called as follows:

WHAT YOU WANT THE PEOPLE TO DO, YOU DO TOO!

This makes it clear that telling the truth is more than just being honest. It means consciously using friendliness and empathy in all of our interactions. This promotes an environment of warmth and positive feelings that is fertile ground for lasting relationships.

After all, we don't want to communicate unwise, rowdy, rude, disrespectful or insulting. Wise Solomon was right when he said: “A gentle answer quenches anger; but a harsh word arouses anger. " Prov 15: 1

One of the bigger challenges is to react to a negative, even destructive answer with a positive, constructive reaction. Anyone who can do this has a high level of emotional intelligence.

Use I-messages

If the spouse or someone else says something hurtful, we still have a choice of how to react. When we are offended, we tend to respond accordingly. But wise people have learned to face such situations wisely. One technique they then use is to replace the YOU with ME.

Instead of saying, "YOU just hurt me badly!" put it this way: "I feel hurt." This has the advantage that the avoiding DU cannot injure the other person additionally. “I have a problem,” is a word that spontaneously motivates the other person to be helpful because they recognize that the other person has hurt feelings, formulates them and stands by them.

When the I-Message technique is used in marriage, she can relax quickly and focus on solving any problems. Kindness and compassion will grow and create a loving climate. It's always worth being kind with the spouse, isn't it?

For older couples, this I-messaging technique is probably new territory. And yet many older couples can communicate very well. You have learned to listen carefully to one another. Because it's definitely worth it. Nice!

The 5 Love Languages of Children - 'I am completely there for you'

For small children, playing means learning. They are hungry for knowledge and want to get to know their world. 'I don't have time now' often forces them to choose the way out of whining. Their need for love tank filling is often stronger than their hunger.

You can get to know the 1st and 2nd love language here: LS1-Tenderness LS2-Lob

Love language 3:

Focused Attention

Example Petra

The four-year-old Petra tugs on her father's arm: "Daddy, play something with me!" "That doesn't work now, I still have to send an email. But after that I'll come." Five minutes later, Petra is in the kitchen and asks: "Mom, are you playing with me?" "Not possible at the moment, my darling, I still have to finish preparing dinner. But when I'm done, we'll play together."

If this scene happens similarly every day, then it looks like Petra is speaking this love language. It needs undivided, personal attention and care. It is also called Quality Time.

Over time, this whining can give you the rest that you threaten to punish the child or put him in room arrest, which is exactly the opposite of what Petra could have made strong. Just 10 minutes of focused attention can be enough to fill up the love tank.

Right from the start: The game has it all. The child learns to concentrate on objects, recognizes more and more the connections and backgrounds and is thus introduced to the causality of life. This understanding grows day by day. The older the child, the more demanding nature observations should be.

A Tip for the Fathers

Allow at least 10 minutes before bedtime for every child, regardless of age, to give them focused attention. This means that without any disturbance from the sibling or mother, you can meet the child at eye level and play, read or do anything that the child has fun at the child's level. This will fill the child's love tank and promote a good, healthy sleep. The next day will reward you and / or the mother for it. The more you do this, the stronger your child will become emotionally.

Actually every child needs a certain amount of attention. The easiest way to identify a deficit in this regard is in children who behave abnormally. That is, the child begins to force the parents to give at least negative attention. He accepts punishment and disadvantages, which shows his desperation.

Unfortunately, it often happens that even children who are loved by their parents still have to grow up with an empty love tank. What a tragedy! Most of the time, the parents don't know what they're doing wrong.

The older the child gets, the more quality and commitment is required of the parents. While you can give a toddler a few pats, a 12-year-old needs participation in a 30-minute soccer game to get the same effect. This is a challenge for the parents when they are so busy; In addition, the midlife crisis has just started and the other children are still there!

For every child, togetherness with their father is always something special. After all, he thinks and feels differently than his mother. In this love language the child gets to know these two thinking and feeling systems, which will show great advantages for a later partnership.

The Priority List

We know it: you can't have everything in life. You have to prioritize. How important is my life partner? What value do I give to the oldest, middle and youngest child? How can I measure this? With the attention you paid? Perhaps with the willingness to do something for the love tank of my chosen partner and child? Do I know the subject of unconditional love so that I can make more conscious decisions in the interests of my own responsibility and humanity?

I believe I am speaking in favor of the majority when I say that you will get back these investments that you use for your family on a multiplicative basis and thereby help to improve the existence of your own children, which in turn affects their children and their children's children becomes. You are doing something for humanity!

Our undivided attention tells the child: "You are important to me. I like you. I like to play with you. I feel good in your presence." With this the child realizes that they are an important person for you. It feels loved, not only conditionally, but also unconditionally.

The same color of clothes alone does not make a happy family. How are the differences in the family structure shaped? Age and gender are probably the biggest factors. As a parent, can you love all children equally? I claim that it doesn't work. Difficult, intelligent children need more attention. Middle-aged children tend to be neglected. It is important that we do not forget to send a child to bed with a full emotional tank.

Be Together

With this love language it is less important WHAT you do with your child, but HOW and HOW you do it. Over time, a bond will develop, a quality of togetherness that others can only 'wow' about in amazement!

Unfortunately it is the case that in many families the television is missed more than the own father. With this, other forces gain access to their own child's soul. If you look at our society, you can see in which direction it will go: "Love will grow cold in many."

Eye Contact

Our gaze is a powerful means of expressing our love. He builds the bridge from heart to heart. Often parents only have strict eye contact with their children. Too bad. To look at the child with a loving look, without any reference to performance, simply because it is my child, that has a great effect on its soul. The quality of the eye contact indicates the quality of the emotional connection.

Anyone who wants to punish the child for a long time with 'deprivation of eyes' does not know what he is doing. Because children often do not understand the causality of behavior at all, i.e. do not understand why the parents react one way or another, the child is at the mercy and will suffer considerable emotional damage as a result of such punishments. Such behavior will have a greater negative impact on his performance.

Those with happy eyes are pretty. It is a privilege for children when they can grow up with loving eye contact. Children read us through the eyes. If the children's eyes light up, then we have done a good job!

Communication

How about asking the child age-appropriate questions? This works best when it is combined with a common activity such as washing up the kitchen, going on a hike or a walk. Gardening is also an excellent way to personally exchange feelings and thoughts. The bedtime procedure is the best moment for small children.

Such 'man to man' or 'woman to woman' conversations have a positive effect on the child's soul. They convey: My father trusts me. I am important to him. He takes me for full. He loves me.

When the daughter hears from her mother that she used to worry about her appearance, this creates solidarity and the certainty that one's own worth does not depend on external appearances.

If a child learns to communicate in this way, they will be able to cope better with life. The later marriage, friendships and collegiality are positively influenced by this. Tolerance and conflict management are developed in this way.

Children are never too old for trusting conversations

Children love stories, including your personal life story. If it is possible to save the bedtime story in the teenage years, where deeper conversations about the day's events and the emotional wounds suffered create a deep friendship, then this can lay an important basis for decision-making for the challenging time of self-discovery (puberty) at hand. Because in this way young people can bring order to their emotional world and learn to express difficult feelings and also understand that 'being cool' does not always mean the right direction.

During school time there is always the opportunity to help with homework. This is often perceived as a disturbance by parents. It opens up the opportunity, with the silent question, WHY the child does not understand something, to dig deeper into the cause of a problem, which comes closer to a holistic solution.

Do you remember your own mother-daughter conversations? We men can have great conversations with our boys too, but like the women, we usually don't succeed, right?

How Children Recognize This Love Language

Jasmin (8): "My family loves me because we do a lot together. Dad sometimes takes me fishing. Although I don't enjoy it that much, I just enjoy being with him."

Fabian (10): "My mother sure loves me. She comes to every one of my football games and watches. I'm not so sure about Dad. He left us."

Bruno (12): "I know that dad loves me. We don't miss a football game. My mother probably loves me too. But we can't do a lot together because she often doesn't feel good."

Martina (16): "My parents love me. How do I know? I can talk to them about anything. They help me make good decisions."

Our sons need strong fathers who value them, spend time with them, play games, challenge them and stick with them. Our society needs mature men who can make good decisions.

Closing Remarks

This love language is challenging for us parents. It requires clear prioritization and planning, especially for older children. Our social understanding that time is money is in no way confirmed here. Time is invested here, yes, sown. First the children can harvest themselves, then their children and at the latest then it's our turn as parents.

Children are like a garden. The more we sow and plant, the more can be harvested.