Most of the time they are mums who keep track of all the little things in everyday family life. But when do you reach the limit of being overwhelmed?
One child urgently needs new shoes, the other should definitely be registered at the dentist and should be reminded to practice the piano. Then you should buy the youngest suitable summer clothes. Yes, then there is the grandmother's birthday, which must not be forgotten. Then there is summer vacation planning. We urgently need a hotel reservation.
All really small tasks that do not take up much time. But to ensure that everyday life runs smoothly, mum needs a lot of organizational talent.
In the traditional family setting, it's usually the ladies who do most of the family thinking. No wonder they sometimes push their limits!!
It's wonderful when mom finds time to play. When the father comes home and then finds 10 minutes for each child to play, then the day has gone perfectly and sleep will be deep and sound.
The House Work
You may be familiar with the expression 'mental load'. Mental stress affects mothers in particular, who are marked by housework, of which they do at least 70 percent in Switzerland, for example. Because of our social role models, many women feel responsible for managing family life.
However, mental overload is also occasionally an issue for men or childless women. But now - if over a longer period of time and without enough rest breaks - this stress level of being overwhelmed can become too great. One child urgently needs new shoes, the other should definitely be registered at the dentist and should be reminded to practice the piano. Then you should buy the youngest suitable summer clothes. Yes, then there is the grandmother's birthday, which must not be forgotten. Then there is summer vacation planning. We urgently need a hotel reservation.
All really small tasks that do not take up much time. But to ensure that everyday life runs smoothly, mum needs a lot of organizational talent.
In the traditional family setting, it's usually the ladies who do most of the family thinking. No wonder they sometimes reach their limits!!r
This can then manifest itself in the form of health problems, irritability, sleep disorders, compulsion to ponder, tachycardia or other tension, which can lead to depression.
Mental overload can then affect the whole family and also strain their relationships inside and outside. Younger women often need psychotherapeutic support.
If the man can help his sweetheart with the housework, then that significantly supports family happiness!
High Standards
High standards usually lead to stress. There is often a degree of perfectionism involved. Mothers tend to like to compare themselves to others. However, this can also easily lead to them classifying themselves as insufficient in certain areas if their performance does not come off well in comparison.
The apartment must always be sparkling clean, the meals healthy and home-cooked and the children's birthdays perfectly organized.
In addition to the work, there is also a lot of effort for planning and organization. Because this mental work is not visible to others, it is not recognized.
High standards - perfectionism is even worse - make family happiness difficult. It should be beautiful, but not perfect, because it often feeds fears that run counter to love.
Good Strategies
Communication
Keep in touch with each other. Tell each other about your everyday experiences, what makes you happy or what bothers you. Try - and it's not always easy - to refrain from all sorts of blame. Listen carefully and try to understand the other person and if you can also express your appreciation and gratitude, then you've won.
Decisions
Make sure that there are not only discussions, but that new rules and standards are also defined. Because such will lead your life further into maturity. Distinguish between NICE TO HAVE (desirable) and NEED TO HAVE (necessary).
Notes
On a generally visible board you can list the upcoming tasks. To do this, enter the estimated time it takes to complete them - how often and by when they have to be done and who is responsible for them.
Older children can also be included.
Anyone who takes on a task strives for completeness - from planning to completion. Done should be marked. Redistribute the tasks regularly and evaluate together whether the work was well organized.
A family calendar can support and facilitate the coordination of appointments and responsibilities.
Reflection
From time to time it's good to reflect on which of all of this has become really important. Why are we doing this or that? Where are the motivators? Question your standard requirements and allow yourself adjustments.
