**Should parents always appear to be in harmony in the presence of their children? When should their offspring learn to deal with different points of view?**

"TV Time is Over!"

"You're going to bed now!" says the mother with unequivocal emphasis. Her little daughter reacts: "Then I'll just ask Daddy."

Everyone knows that Daddy will let her watch TV for another fifteen minutes. The child is then happy and the mother feels disadvantaged in her educational efforts.

But do parents always have to agree?

Different educational ideas are probably the most common reasons for a parental row. No wonder, because after all we all grow up in a different ‘upbringing system’ that leads to different values and thus allows us to make different decisions.

**One parent always tends to be more generous and the other more strict. That shouldn't surprise us. It's a good thing, too, because then family values can be re-discussed and direction realigned.**

Find Consensus

It is important for parents to be able to define common educational goals. Parenting becomes much easier when they largely agree. It is also an advantage for the child if it learns to accept limits and does not always have to try to push them.

In questions like:

When is it time to go to bed?
How should we behave at the table and how not?
How much media consumption is accepted and are there clear limits?

a common denominator should be found.

Not all conflict is bad. It's more important how you deal with it.

**If the parents can show how conflicts can be solved constructively together, the children have a lot of learning potential, which will be a blessing for them later.**

Accept Differences

We are all different. The older children have always had privileges with us. For example, they were allowed to stay up a little longer or sit in the front of the car. But with the privileges comes more responsibility. The area of responsibility increases with age, for example in the kitchen or setting the table.

In any case, the parents should not be played off and wrapped around their fingers. It can also happen that a decision has to be corrected afterwards. If the child is then explained in their own language why this is being changed, then this can be an advantage for the child. It will then get special attention and kind words that will help it accept the boundary shift.

Mother: “I told you before, you can still go outside to play. But unfortunately that's not possible, since we still have a dentist appointment."

Mistakes like this can happen again and again. It does not matter. On the contrary, it can teach children to be more flexible in dealing with agreements.

How nice that we are different! At the beginning of a marriage, this is very much appreciated. They say differences attract. Now it can come to the point that these differences are no longer so important, and sometimes even have a disturbing effect. However, let's remember that we are a team and complements, different ways of thinking and different, complementary values bring us forward.

Parenting Tips For Disagreement

1. Let's accept that we are all different.

At the beginning of a relationship, opposites often attract us. However, dealing with them can become tiring later on. The opinion of others must be respected. This will encourage a constructive learning environment.

2. Responsibilities should be clarified.

Who is responsible for which topic? If someone is specialized in a field, he/she should also have the corresponding decision-making power. Makes sense! It would then be a pity to stab this person in the back and make unnecessary fuss!

3. There are always exceptions.

There are no rules without exceptions - this also applies here. Rules are very important. They promote our values, which the children still have to build up so that they can also cope in this life.

4. Making important decisions can take time

"Honey, let's talk first. It's not that easy." By the way, with a weekly FAMILY COUNCIL, parents and children gain many advantages of learning and growing together as a family.