Communicating truth is not always easy when one is unfavorably tightly bound. Our constraints and limits often prevent us from saying efficiently and empathically what is on our mind.
The Problem
We all know that honesty is one of the most important parts of a strong and happy marriage and family. But what is just as important to understand is how to best communicate the truth so that positive results can be obtained from it.
A comedian can afford, he has to, to talk like that, without thinking, to say as much nonsense as possible. But one of us must pay attention to the results of our words in order not to endanger our social future.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Level-headed and mindful, let's say reasonable people who can easily call their own above-average emotional intelligence, think twice before saying anything important. They want to be considerate of the feelings of others or the possible effects of their words. (LINK)
Those who are strong with EQ have an advantage everywhere. It is worth taking the time to integrate this topic into your own being. There are some Blogs that can help.
Challenges
Well, we all carry legacy emotions from our childhood. We can't just put them down somewhere, but have to use them to design our future as constructively as possible. Not always that easy!
We are products of our families of origin. Who and what we are depends significantly on our positive and negative interactions with our environment and, of course, heavily on our family, our loved ones. It is logical that we also faced certain challenges, sometimes even wounds. These lead to the fact that if someone comes near a wound, we can feel hurt. This then challenges us to a corresponding protective reaction.
Communication
Our daily interactions with our family and friends should serve to promote our growth in the spiritual, physical, intellectual and also spiritual area. This is intended to successfully master our social life. Christians learn that it is not just about me, but also about what is important to my fellow human beings.
This state of maturity has an impact on the way we communicate.
In Marriage and Family
Neither women nor men should be tempted to use hurtful words towards a spouse or family member. While it is clearly important to acknowledge the importance of the truth, it should be communicated with kindness and compassion, especially in marriage and family.
How couples communicate with each other says something about their EQ. Self-esteem is of course also associated with the EQ, which also has a strong influence on our conversation behavior.
An obvious rule - it is called THE GOLDEN RULE - is called as follows:
WHAT YOU WANT THE PEOPLE TO DO, YOU DO TOO!
This makes it clear that telling the truth is more than just being honest. It means consciously using friendliness and empathy in all of our interactions. This promotes an environment of warmth and positive feelings that is fertile ground for lasting relationships.
After all, we don't want to communicate unwise, rowdy, rude, disrespectful or insulting. Wise Solomon was right when he said: “A gentle answer quenches anger; but a harsh word arouses anger. " Prov 15: 1
One of the bigger challenges is to react to a negative, even destructive answer with a positive, constructive reaction. Anyone who can do this has a high level of emotional intelligence.
Use I-messages
If the spouse or someone else says something hurtful, we still have a choice of how to react. When we are offended, we tend to respond accordingly. But wise people have learned to face such situations wisely. One technique they then use is to replace the YOU with ME.
Instead of saying, "YOU just hurt me badly!" put it this way: "I feel hurt." This has the advantage that the avoiding DU cannot injure the other person additionally. “I have a problem,” is a word that spontaneously motivates the other person to be helpful because they recognize that the other person has hurt feelings, formulates them and stands by them.
When the I-Message technique is used in marriage, she can relax quickly and focus on solving any problems. Kindness and compassion will grow and create a loving climate. It's always worth being kind with the spouse, isn't it?
For older couples, this I-messaging technique is probably new territory. And yet many older couples can communicate very well. You have learned to listen carefully to one another. Because it's definitely worth it. Nice!
