Our Family Story – Better and Better - 2

The Philippines have changed and improved our lives. Much has changed since then. We all got a real life mission and a real meaning of life.

A New Life Begins

Ernst: The seed had been sown and new life was germinating in our hearts: When we stopped watching TV, we started developing our minds by reading more good books again and discovering more about real life. Then came the invitation. Our youth pastor invited the youth to go on a mission trip to the Philippines. Our children, Jenny, Jesse and Jeremy were very interested. They were 21, 19 and 17 at the time. We had always enjoyed doing everything as a family, so Terri asked if we older folks could go along too. Since there was space, they let us join them. It was to be a life changing experience. We were suddenly all evangelists!

Jesse, “the evangelist” preaching his first sermon – isn’t he sweet?

Philippines changing our lives

Terri: We all stayed at the same hotel and prepared our sermons together every morning but split up in the afternoon and preached in different venues. Every evening we’d share our experiences and thank God for His help. Jesse and Jeremy had never preached before. They had had many Bible studies before, but in this setting it began to come alive for them. As they preached, they discovered the beauty of the Bible and prophecy, and when the time came to invite their listeners to dedicate their lives to God in baptism, they decided they wanted to be baptized too!

Seventy-six baptisms at the end of our two-week campaign

The icy cold waters of the Lake of Constance could not deter Jesse and Jeremy from getting baptised the following January!

Our trip to the Philippines was a paradigm shift. We found true meaning in life and after that, our lives would never be the same.

Ernst: When I got back, my regular job in Switzerland was no longer satisfying. After experiencing the power of God and His miracles in my life and seeing Him use me to help others and do something of value for eternity, programming and filling in those endless Excel sheets lost its charm. It was boring and void of meaning. I had experienced something better. I decided to quit my job and do something meaningful. But what?

Decisions – Search for Meaning

Terri: It was thrilling to see the changes in our family. It was a wonderful adventure. Ernst was talking about quitting his regular job and starting his own business. He wanted to do holistic health counseling. It sounded good to me! Of course, we had a lot to learn before we could teach, but we decided to do whatever it took to prepare ourselves for whatever God had in mind.

Ernst: When I thought about leaving my job, my income, my security, I felt like I was getting ready to jump out of an airplane from 10,000 feet. For someone like me, who is afraid of heights and has never been a risk taker, that was HUGE!

As our company was reorganizing and downsizing, people around me had been losing their jobs left and right. Secretly, I was hoping they would lay me off and save me the choice, but each time they moved me to different department and I “got” to stay. It took me a couple of years, but finally, in 2008 I asked my boss to let me go on the next cut.

As I rode the train home from Zurich that day, I felt like I was in a free fall, hoping and praying my parachute would open.

Terri: When I met him at the train that day, he had tears in his eyes. It was hard for me to comprehend the weight of the burden he was carrying. Now I understand better. As a melancholy, the head of our household and the chief breadwinner, it was really scary for him. It took a lot faith. We had been accustomed to a certain standard of living. He was thinking things like, What if my business fails? How will we pay our bills? How will our kids finish their education? We could even lose our house! I, on the other hand, am a very “Que sera sera” kind of a person and enjoyed every step like a new adventure.

Ernst: Over the last several years before I quit my job, Terri and I had been studying with the German Health Association (DVG). The more we learned, the more we wanted to share it with others. The holistic health approach embodied in the NEWSTART PLUS system made so much sense to me that I not only wanted to practice it in my own private life, but knew it would make a good basis for the rest of my professional life.

Terri: Since the day Ernst left his programming job, our life has been one continuous exercise in change management. Never a dull moment. Starting a business in 2008 was an uphill battle for Ernst. He wanted to do holistic health counseling for businesses, but the financial crisis that year discouraged every potential client. I was amazed at his perseverance and the hundreds of phone calls he made trying to get his new business off the ground.  He worked hard and honed his skills by giving private seminars and personal counseling.

Right about this time, Jenny and her boyfriend, Remo, Jeremy and I all went to various schools* in Europe and the USA to get training in the same cutting-edge natural health system. The younger set went for a whole year, but Ernst didn’t want me to go away that long. My one-month course in Austria plus the three-week internship in the Ukraine was enough to set my heart on fire for life! After that year, we immediately started a mini medical missionary training school in our home. It was fun working together as a family.

Ernst teaching health evangelism in our backyard

Jenny

Terri: Jenny and Remo got married in 2009 after their year of training and took over the leadership of Sonnmatt Health Center. They helped us when we had courses at our house and we helped them however we could. The more we worked, the more we grew and learned, and the more useful we became. Now, in one way or another, we are all involved in teaching people how to get and stay healthy and happy using simple, natural remedies and expanding emotional intelligence (LINK). 

Jenny and Remo’s special day: Sept. 25, 2009

Jesse

Ernst: At some point in our development, I realized how ignorant I had been when Jesse had wanted to get this training back in 2005. I had refused to support him, declaring it to be a waste of time. After all, he would receive no diploma or degree that would help him earn a living. How wrong I was! I totally underestimated the value of that education. Oh, how I wish I had gotten the same training forty years ago! How much faster and easier could I have learned! How much healthier and more useful I could have been and could now be! Now I recommend it to everyone!

As it was, after his year in Norway, Jesse decided to study theology. That was more pleasing to me, but when at the age of 21 he left school (for who knew how long?) and answered a call to help his just-as-young friends start a ministry in Honduras, I had big question marks in my mind. He had been there working hard for two years before we actually visited and really started helping him. Once we got involved with VIDA Internacional, we fell in love with it and returned several times. That’s one place where you can really experience that it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Left to right: Three pioneers of VIDA - Eli, Jesse and Jose

Jeremy

Jeremy as a student leader at Matteson with students and staff in 2009

In the summer 2009, Jeremy and his friend Joakim helped start the youth movement IMPACT Norway**

Jeremy as director of Matteson with students and staff in 2011

More Challenges on the Horizon

Terri: The subjects taught in these schools are so deep and wide and multifaceted that it takes a year to get the basics. Since Ernst did not have the opportunity of studying at such a school and I had only attended for one month, we needed, and received, special training. Jesse and Jeremy tutored us at every opportunity. However, they both knew the best way for us to understand their work and calling would be to get involved and teach it ourselves. Whatever we had to teach, we would have to study. So it wasn’t long before we were teaching in their respective schools/ministries in Honduras*, Wildwood*, and Matteson*.

Ernst: Terri and I had actually wanted to start such a LIGHT school in Switzerland. Still, we were a bit overwhelmed when Jeremy asked me to be the director of Matteson and Terri to be the household manager. Me? The director? I hadn’t even attended one of those schools! Norway? No way! I’m really very much at home in Switzerland. Way too far out of my comfort zone! Surely a Scandinavian could do a better job than I!

Terri: Who? Me? Household manager? As an American in Switzerland, I had always felt inferior in the area of domestic engineering. Ernst’s mom was the perfect Swiss housekeeper. Like many young Swiss girls, she had spent a year as an apprentice learning how to run a household. I could have learned a lot from her, but I wasn’t humble enough for that. Besides, I remembered and lived by a plaque my mom had in her kitchen: My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. J I really preferred mowing the lawn to dusting and mopping.

And what about cooking? By the time we received the call to work at Matteson, I had cooked many meals. After 30+ years of married life, with three kids and many guests, I had had many opportunities to cook and generally felt good about the results, but it wasn’t my favorite thing and I almost never followed a recipe. Ernst was often perturbed when I had made something he liked especially well; he knew he would never taste the exact same thing again.

This all seemed fine to me in a personal household, but to be called to cook and keep house for a school, to be a model and to guide students in these arts would require a lot of discipline and development on my part. Should I accept that challenge?

To be continued

Fltr: Ernst, Terri, Jeremy with Talita, Jesse with Amina, Jenny with David and Remo. Missing Jesse’s wife Gabriela with their son David-Solomon.

* Matteson Mission School (Norway), Wildwood College of Health Evangelism (Georgia, USA), TGM – Country Life Institute for Health Training (Austria), VIDA Internacional (Honduras) – these schools are all LIGHT (Lay Institute for Global Health Training - USA) accredited.

** IMPACT Norway is a youth movement, which has since spread to many other countries and has chapters in Europe and is now going worldwide. The acronym stands for Inspiring Members to Proclaim the Advent of Christ – in this generation.

Our Family Story – Better and Worse - 1

Ernst: Our wedding was unforgettable. After five months in a cast, Terri was a little slow for me and it was an extremely hot day in Milo, Oregon. So I picked up my bride and carried her out of the church into the fresh air as quickly as possible.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

Ernst: I found Terri in an Austrian school called Bogenhofen. I had gone there to play soccer and was told about a crazy American girl who had bought soccer shoes so she could play with the guys. Since I liked the idea of winning, I invited her to play on my team. That worked out well.

Terri: Eighteen months later, on May 8, 1980, we got married in the States. Our first four years flew by like a dream. We never had an argument, except maybe when we took that temperament test at a marriage seminar two years into the marriage. That test opened our eyes and we began to see who we really were. We argued about that.

Ernst: And then there was an aggression test. After being married to Terri for two years, I knew her test would come out high. I was right about that, but when I saw my own results, I thought there was something wrong with the test. I scored almost as high as she did. How was that possible? Returning home, it seemed we had more questions than answers.

Terri: Because we were both surprisingly high in aggression, Ernst bought a book on the subject. How smart! Intelligence was definitely one of the reasons I fell in love with him. Oh yeah, back to aggression. He discovered that the reason he thought his aggression level was lower than mine was because he didn’t let his show as overtly as I did. While he tended to keep it hidden inside, I was fairly easy to read. He also figured out that with all this extra energy, our life would never be boring. 

We needed to learn proper methods of communication. Over the years since then, we have experienced joy and more quality of life by learning to channel our energies into more emotionally intelligent behaviors.

Then Comes Jenny in the Baby Carriage!

Ernst: We had four years of marital bliss – until the children arrived. Terri had learned German, Swiss German, cooking and housekeeping very quickly and had been the perfect wife. I felt like I was truly a king in my castle. When our first little bundle of joy (Jennifer Joy) arrived on the scene, Terri changed radically and I was forced to exchange my #1 jersey for #2. Two years later, it was #3, and two years later, #4. I was an elementary school teacher and I love children. And I loved my children. But I was getting less and less attention and care and, honestly, if it hadn’t been for the children, I probably would have left and looked for greener pastures. First spoiled, then suddenly neglected. It was the biggest challenge of my life.

Terri: Well, of course I spoiled him before we had children. I gave him 100%. He was everything to me. I had married the man of my dreams, my prince, my knight in shining armor, and I was happy to give him every ounce of love and energy and attention I could. We were both very young and, in our own way, we were both selfish. At that time in my development, I wasn’t sooo aware of other people’s challenges. I assumed that Ernst knew what I knew – that our children needed more love and attention than their daddy did. Since my resources were limited to 100%, it seemed logical to me that each time we had a child, his piece of the pie would shrink. Mine certainly did. Don’t you love that line, “If it hadn’t been for the children…”? Well, if it hadn’t been for the children, we wouldn’t have been in that predicament.

Ernst: Right. Instead of adjusting to my wife’s new needs, I continued in my own selfish style. That was unfortunate. I didn’t understand that the time had come to demonstrate true love through my deeds by giving my totally overworked wife and mother of my children much needed support and attention. I realize now that if I had helped her more, she would have had more time and energy for me. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Terri: It’s so nice to hear him say that now… <3

Ernst: Life continued like that for several years. When we were expecting our third child and Terri was worrying about the expense of flying to the States with such a big family, I changed jobs and became a programmer for SWISSAIR. It was very liberating for both of us. Terri was so happy. She could take the children and visit family and friends once or twice a year. I didn’t always go with them to Oregon. To me, there are more exciting places in the world… But it was nice to have a happy wife.

Terri: When Ernst went to work for SWISSAIR, it was like another dream come true. I had been getting more and more dissatisfied living in Switzerland, not because I didn’t like Switzerland, but because I missed my family and friends in the States. I had always hoped we might some day move to the States, at least for a couple of years, to absorb the language (especially Ernst) and culture as a family. His new job was a nice compromise. I felt cared for.

Ernst: I got more and more used to my role as a father and loved (almost) everything about it. Playing together, spending time in nature, reading stories and playing soccer were all activities that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Move to the Country

Ernst: We took the education of our children seriously and decided to follow the counsel we had read to move out of the city (Zurich) and raise our children in the country where they would be closer to nature and its Creator. We also wanted to live where we could have a dog, a cat and a garden. A small town with a population of less than 500 and a train station in eastern Switzerland was just what we needed. Ideal! The 75-minute train commute to Zurich didn’t bother me. I actually enjoyed the extra chill time. I could talk or relax or educate myself with interesting books.

Terri: Thanks to Ernst’s parents (and God), we were able to buy a house outside of town. At the risk of sounding redundant, I’m going to say it again: for me that house was another dream come true. As an American who grew up in the freedom of country living, renting was not a good option. It was important for me to have a house I could paint or renovate and trees I could fell at will. The house was Ernst’s last great effort to prove his love and make me happy living in Switzerland. And I have to say it worked! It was like he made the ultimate sacrifice – for me!

1996 – in front of our new home. Left to right: Jeremy (6), Terri, Jesse (8), Ernst, Jenny (10)

Renovation needed !

Ernst: It was an old house and required a lot of work and sweat in the renovation process. It was a family project. Working together on it had a unifying effect. We became a real team and family was our highest priority. We were thankful to God for His generosity with us and we invited Him to live with us and show us how to best use the house He had given us. Our house was always open for guests, friends and strangers.

Terri: One negative development in our new home was a TV. We had never had one till then. It sat in the living room for the first month, but I soon decided it was taking too much “space” in our lives and carried it up to the attic. That kept our consumption down to once a week for the first year, but when we renovated the attic and it became our bedroom, there was nowhere else to put it. Videos, DVDs and TV – watch till you drop. I didn’t know what to do.

Ernst: Terri was the first to notice we were in trouble. She started complaining about the situation, but I was happy. I was surprised and a bit shocked (but also proud of her) when she got rid of our entire collection of videos and DVDs. Although I was impressed, I was not strong enough to stop watching TV. But Terri had a smart idea.  

Terri: While I was desperately looking for ways to free our family from media addictions, God gave me a Bible verse to help me. It was Philippians 4:8. I wrote it on a piece of paper and hung it over the TV.

Ernst: Whenever I turned on the TV after that, I was confronted with these words: “Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things!“ I didn’t really like it there, but since I didn’t have the guts to take it down, I had to read it over and over again. When I evaluated what I was watching by those adjectives, not many programs passed the test and it didn’t take me long to decide to make more of my life. I recognized it was really a waste of my time and my life to sit in front of the TV and fill my head with useless and sometimes even harmful clutter.

Terri: From that time on, life got better and we never looked back! Stay tuned for Part 2 of “Our Story – Better and Better!”

Our new home. It took quite some renovation. But together we were strong. Each one of us was an important part of it.

From Woman To Woman

Some tips in dealing with the man's world - an interesting - challenging and sometimes amusing world.

My Lady Terri-Lynn writes:

Dear women!

At the beginning, when Ernst asked me to write something for his blog, I thought, “I can't do that.” But the more I put myself into the subject, the more I got pleasure: I hope you will find it with Read like this ...

When I was a young girl, I listened to music a lot. One song that I really liked was a country song:

"Stand by Your Man!"

The song was about loyally standing by the husband's side and supporting him through thick and thin, even if he makes a mistake. After all, he is only a man (human).

As a teen I was very impressed by this song, and the desire grew in me to stand next to my husband, although I still had no idea who he would be.

I met him when I was 20. He was big and beautiful, musical, sporty and funny. More importantly - he was intelligent - the smartest I knew until then! The list of its merits could be expanded, but these adjectives should suffice.

It didn't take long before I was blown away. He was the first man (actually the only one) I wrote a song for. This is how it started:

I met a boy - I fell in love:

He’s everything that I've been dreamin ’of.

He took my heart - he took my hand:

He showed me things I did not understand.

The song goes on, but at least you see: I had found the one man I thought I could stand behind.
When I later found the following card:

George Washington with his wife Martha

"Behind every successful man there is a woman."

I just had to give it to him. She was pretty straight forward (cheeky), because it went on as follows:

"If there’s no one standing behind you yet, I would like to fill out an application."

That was, please, no marriage proposal; that was just SERIOUS(=Ernst) fun!

And now we've been married for over 40 years! My wish came true, so to speak, and I have a man next to, behind, in front of and under - not over - whom I am allowed to stand by.

Ernst almost overran the photographer when he ran out of church with me for joy.

To be honest, it wasn't always just a must; marriage is a school. It's not just “like” a school; it is actually a school and I had a LOT to study! (Luckily he is also a patient teacher. :-)

I also learned a lot that way. He also. (Sometimes I thought it would be good, he would learn so quickly too. :-)

It is not always easy to stand behind a man. In our society women learn that women have to “develop”, “discover”, “realize”, and the underlying idea is, “You have to free yourself from the yoke of submission and do what YOU want!”

Building a happy marriage sometimes means doing hard labor.

It is true that sometimes during our marriage I felt the need to want to be a little more. Sometimes I didn't pay enough attention to my role at home and gave free rein to my dissatisfaction. But what I learned from it:

My response belongs to my responsibility

If a situation doesn't suit me, I can scold and complain. But that only makes me ugly and ugly. If I make the best of it, then I am happy and beautiful (er).

My luck

I have learned:

the key to my happiness - I hold it in my own hand.

I've learned that if I stand by my husband, even if he makes a mistake, I am happier too. That doesn't mean that I never tell him if I think he's wrong. No no. Open communication is very important. But how? When I smile, he smiles too. And that's so nice!

For women who are thinking of getting married, I would simply like to warmly recommend: think carefully about whether you would like to stand next to, behind, in front of and under a man (with all his faults). Now you still have a choice. And choose the right one! Let yourself be well advised! Butterflies are dangerous.

When Ernst and I had difficulties, I went to the USA with the children. We visited my old Sabbath school teacher and I told him a little about my suffering. I was amazed when he didn't take a step towards me. He explained to me, very dearly, that I had decided in favor of this man, that he was a nice person and now it's about making something good - the best of it.

Family happiness in the 'new' home in Eastern Switzerland - home sweet home - happiness alone

So I came back to Switzerland and decided, with God's help, to make something good out of it. And it turned out very well too! Not always easy, but the work has paid off (and still pays). You can choose between love and happiness.

Now I am very happy that Ernst persuaded me to take this privilege of writing to you ...

Then I remember the song I wrote for him. So it goes on:

"He made my life complete. He brought me happiness,
and every time I said "I can't!" He made me do my best. "

He added to my life and brought me joy

and every time I said

"I can't do that, he made me do my best."

Apparently that impressed me about him even then. Yes, marriage - and any relationship you take SERIOUSLY(=Ernst) - is a school. Fortunately, most relationships are voluntary. The only question is whether we want to learn something. DO YOU WANT THE SAME ?

In any case, he was right again in this case: I even noticed that I could write more. :-)

I wish you a wonderful week. See you the Wednesday after next; then with the topic FROM WOMAN TO MAN.

Then another song comes to mind: "If God gave me the chance to do it all again, I'd choose you again."

Book recommendation: LOVE & RESPECT by Emerson Eggerichs