Strengthening the Family - but how? - 2

The first part of this topic you can find here : PART1-Link

The cell of society is the family. When this is strong, society as a whole benefits. It is worth investing in considerations of how I can strengthen my family.

Never waste a good Conflict!

There are conflicts in every family. Here are a few tips for resolving conflicts

If a conflict arises, then

• Show interest in a factual presentation of the situation(s)

• Let everyone who wants to describe their side.

• Pay attention to their feelings and yours

• Distinguish between action and person. Never judge the person, judge the act.

• To take the pressure off the conflict situation, avoid the word YOU.

• Mostly love deficits are the cause. A lot can be improved with loving, love-tank-filling words.

Further criteria can be viewed on this blog LINK .

What is a good Conflict?

Usually there is relational and material potential in a conflict, which, if recognized and dealt with, can lead a relationship to maturity. As mentioned, there are usually own love problems - one could also say fear - as the deep cause. Sometimes these are overlaid with gaps in understanding. You can easily help jumps ’with increased objectivity.

Solve Conflicts Creatively

1. Ask, and it will be given to you - promise God if we ask HIM for help

2. Find the real problem that led to this conflict

3. Analyze it first. Look at it from different angles

4. Think of possible solutions.

5. Judge these solutions according to criteria of fairness, compassion, maturity.

6. Communicate the best solution in context to the others at the factual level.

7. Know the understanding and agreement of others. Integrate suggested corrections.

8. Discuss later how the solution behavior developed and contributed to the success. Note whether any corrections are necessary.

9. Enjoy mutual success. Maybe a reward will fit.

10. Finally, consider how such a conflict can be avoided.

Together - for one another - to one another - that makes you strong.

Communication Tips

• Eye contact promotes mutual understanding

• Listen carefully and reflect

• Patience brings roses

• Help others find the solutions

• Be ready to talk about feelings

• Choose the right time for important topics

Enrich your Family

Give away unconditional love

> Show others that you love them for who they are and not for what they do.

> Unconditional love is the fine art of love. There is a blog about it. Here it is: LINK

Show your Appreciation

> "Thank you for helping me."

> Appreciate the responsibilities others take on in the family.

> A praise used correctly can work wonders.

Live Forgiveness

> We all make mistakes.

> How nice when mistakes can be made in a family.

> We all need forgiveness. And it's good for us when we receive it, isn't it?

Promote self worth

> Self-worth - a very important topic!

> How is self-worth built - see blog LINK

> In addition to personal attention, there should also - not too often - be recognition in front of an audience.

All my blogs are devoted to this subject FAMILY. The following blog should also be specifically dedicated to promoting the responsibility of all relatives and their problem-solving behavior.

Self-hatred And Self-love

Sometimes I wonder why I reacted like that _ and who I actually am.

As you probably know, there are stark forms of self-loathing. These include self-destructive forms such as anorexia, bulimia or borderline disorders (scratching oneself) ...

What I would prefer to address at this point are the everyday methods that are often traditionally accepted and strain our happiness without our perhaps being aware of it. These can include: smoking, drinking alcohol, too little exercise, which can lead to obesity, social incompetence, which leads to unhappy relationships, etc.

Those who do not like others can run away, those who do not like themselves cannot!

Definition of self-hatred

Self-hatred refers to forms of self-rejection and self-contempt. This goes hand in hand with self-harming behavior, consciously or unconsciously.

This makes it clear that self-hatred is an emotion directed against oneself, based on a lack of self-confidence and self (respect) or fear and inner tension. Often the relationship to one's own being, including the body, soul and spirit, has been disturbed, unfortunately mostly in childhood. Thus, hatred, anger, frustration, and aggression can easily affect social relationships. Too bad.

The human tendency to choose what brings the greatest profit, gain in pleasure, money and power, this tendency has plunged so many dear people into misery.

• Just eating what you like without considering whether it will have a destructive effect on my body is kind of irrational, isn't it?

• Just thinking like that, regardless of whether it will cause damage sooner or later, is somehow insufficient, isn't it?

• Simply allowing feelings that destroy me or others, increase my fears and want to rob me of my quality of love and life, that is somehow illogical, actually stupid, or what do you think?

It is a characteristic of high emotional intelligence to live not only for the moment, but from the past for a responsible future.

The opposite of self-hatred is self-love.

Since self-hatred has been learned, one can also learn to love oneself better. This path from self-denial to self-acceptance is a path that takes patience and a decision that should not be easily overturned. Because that is where the real happiness of life really begins.

Accepting oneself holistically despite weaknesses is probably one of the most mature decisions a person can make.

Imagine a person who is bursting with self-acceptance who does nothing to harm him / her. Who just tries to keep an eye on what is good for body, soul and spirit. A person who can make reasonable decisions because he has noticed what is a real gain for him / her. Isn't that a totally sane idea? Don't you want to move in that direction too? So totally positive, learn to say NO to destructive temptations. That could also be Swiss chocolate!

As I said, there is a path and you don't get there straight away. But the quality of life will increase immediately. When it comes to food, for example, you sometimes don't notice it right away. Many people are only presented with the bill for their lifestyle after 5-20 years. Often times, an immediate correction can prevent the worst, but most of the time a severe loss of freedom is the consequence.

Those who are at peace with themselves are open to other people. "He who loves other people loves himself," said Paul.

There would be a lot to write about self-hatred and self-love.

What is certain is that it helps when you meet someone who likes you, even loves you. Someone who knows and has experienced what real love is. This is a great help on the way to balance.

Hopefully you have that privilege too. Some have to limit themselves to their cat or dog. For me, my marriage and family are probably the strongest signals of love that can come from people. But I have seen that there is much more. Imagine someone who wants to do everything for you, who wants to help you in all your challenges, who knows you so well that he knows what is best for you.

What a privilege to have such a lovely family. Thank God.

If you have access to the Christian faith, then I can highly recommend you to look at the life of this JESUS again. Let us show you what dimensions LOVE has, what LOVE can really do and how healing it is to encounter such a deep interest in yourself. There is no real argument against real LOVE. Do not miss that. The Gospel chapters in Matthew 25-28, Mark 12-16, Luke 20-24 and John 16-21 lead into this depth of love, which has divine dimensions and therefore has the greatest healing potential. Happy the person who can accept this offer.

Love has different components. Part of it is unconditional love.

Unconditional love is like dynamite

• is like water for someone dying of thirst

• like an apple to a starving man

• this love is like running on an early morning beach where the sun, sea and landscape warm and hug you.

More about that later.