Before deciding to marry, it is beneficial to think about the most important areas of such a relationship. This blog is dedicated to such thoughts.
ACTIVE LISTENING in MARRIAGE
An important quality that defines happy married couples is the ability to actively listen.
This is a challenge for both spouses. The man may already be thinking about the next meeting and is therefore not listening carefully to his wife. Or the wife is busy cooking and needs to make sure everything is done at the right time and in the right order, and so shows limited attention when her husband says something important.
How to foster the important quality of mindful listening:
take your time
If you are under time pressure, you can agree on a joint time window
Take an interest in your partner's concerns
Eye contact is a major benefit that also influences our posture.
Give verbal and non-verbal feedback (repeat what was said - nod)
Living mutual interest is a diamond in a partnership
Wait with your opinion
Now the interlocutor should be the center of attention, not my opinion
Questions are always allowed
If you don't fully understand something, you should try to understand it completely. The partner notices this interest, which has a positive effect.
Ask open questions
A question that starts with WHY or HOW and cannot simply be answered with YES or NO leads to an interesting dialogue.
Let your counterpart speak
It's not always that easy. You would like to express your own opinion without waiting for the end of the partner words. WAIT is high art!!
Those who feel a well-developed respect for their partner have an advantage here.
Allow no distraction
Especially our modern communication tools (mobile phone) love to be the center of our attention!!
It is also important to recognize other distraction maneuvers and quickly assess whether they are really more important or not.
Form your own answer afterwards
Don't think about your own answers during the conversation. This could lead to a misunderstanding.
Try to judge less
We are mostly trained to assess situations as quickly as possible.
If a problem arises, we want to be able to decide immediately, sometimes we have to; especially in dangerous situations.
Such judgments are part of our survival tactics, but they are not appropriate when listening actively.
Give advice and tips only when asked
Most of the time it doesn't work well when we simply impose our own ideas on the partner. This is then often blocked, which can lead to the partner withdrawing.
As soon as the partner shows interest in my opinion, THEN the moment has come to actively share my opinion. That will then lead to a TEAM work.
Let's summarize:
Good ACTIVE LISTENING is an important, high-quality quality of REAL LOVE. As soon as we are interested in it, this quality can improve, which will not only be a blessing for the partner, but for the whole social environment.
So don't give up right away, but live strength.
