It starts with the 60th birthday. Then comes retirement. At some point, our parents will need to take care of themselves.
Retirement
The earlier the family talks about growing old and the developments associated with it, the better. This is not always easy for us. There are important issues like powers of attorney and living wills to discuss while the parents are still mentally fit and able to make decisions for themselves.
This is the only way to talk to them about their concerns and needs on an equal footing, so to speak. If you wait until your parents are already frail and ill, it is often too late.
Retirement is followed by an age phase that is characterized by independence - the profession is usually given up - by being alone because social professional contacts are often lost and by a lot of freedom because most responsibilities have been handed over.
The great gift of plenty of free time overwhelms many retirees. "What am I supposed to do with all this time?" It could well be that you as a relative can help with a few carefully presented suggestions!
Care For Parents
They still exist, the children who recognize their responsibility and want to look after their parents. Very well!
However, when someone is at home looking after their elderly mother and is on the verge of a breakdown, nobody is helped. Let's not forget: Let yourself be helped - there are numerous offers of help and it is perfectly fine to take advantage of them.
Attention: The longer the caring relatives wait to get help, the more a rupture between the cared for and the carer can occur.
How nice when grandparents still feel fit and strong. The closer their lifestyle is to NEWSTART, the better their quality of life will be!
Retirement And Nursing Home
It is important for the aging parents to seek support early and to check entry into an old people's or nursing home.
Why is this step so difficult for so many?
Mostly incomprehensible for the younger generation: This step is probably the last move. You move away from familiar surroundings, away from many important social contacts, and you don't know what other consequences this step will bring.
When family members bring their parents to a retirement home, they often have the feeling that they are 'putting them away'. The topic of 'death' is also coming up more and more and can be extremely uncomfortable.
Another challenge can be that the relatives do not agree on how to proceed. Then there are the thoughts of inheritance, which for some are top priorities.
Less is often more!
In personal relationships - and especially with our parents - the focus should not be on quantity but on quality. So if you visit your parents once a week in the nursing home or in the retirement home, you don't have to put together an elaborate entertainment program every time!
Many have this need because it allows a kind of overcompensation to be processed. Such a ‘guilty feeling’ can be the attitude: If I can visit my parents so seldom, I must at least offer them as much as possible.
However, this demand on oneself can quickly lead to being overwhelmed and overwhelmed - on both sides.
How beautiful and blessed it is to accompany young grandchildren and give them a few tips for a good life!!
Tips
Sometimes it is enough to have a cup of tea together or to go for a walk together in the fresh air. It can also happen that you sit next to each other and are silent with each other. Such breaks can do you good.
It is also important that we can adapt to the situation of our parents. This can affect speed, speaking rate and volume. This does not mean that you have to yell at the seniors and speak exaggeratedly slowly. This can seem artificial or condescending to them.
The needs differ from person to person. It is the quality of empathy (LINK) that benefits relatives and can lead to a successful relationship between young and old.
