If you give your child an animal, you can develop a great advantage with it. Animals that can respond to the child's affection help fill their emotional tank. With an animal there is also the responsibility for caring for, with which the child can credit a lot for his character development under expert guidance.
You can get to know the 1st to 3rd love language here:
LS1-Tenderness LS2-Praise LS3-Attention
Love Language 4:
Children's Voices
"Why does your mommy love you?" The ten-year-old Rahel replies: "Come to my room and I'll show you." Once there, she points to a large teddy bear. "My parents brought it back for me from my vacation."
"My kindergarten teacher likes me very much. Look at Grandma what she gave me."
"Carmen (15), how do you know that your parents love you? * Carmen points to her beautiful clothes and says:" I got all this from them. "
Giving is a phenomenon
There are gifts in all cultures and at all times. It's kind of part of being human. In Greek there is the word CHARIS, which means both 'grace' and 'gift of love, gift'. A gift is actually a gift, an undeserved gift and should not be thought of as a reward. It is thus an expression of love and affection, a voluntary service, so to speak.
Our economy thrives thanks to our gift culture. The Swiss chocolate industry also benefits from this! But let's not be seduced: gifts are supposed to satisfy the real needs of our neighbor. Then we hit the heart
Gifts can be very clear signs of love. They show affection at the moment of delivery and sometimes for many years afterwards. Do you also have an old-time gift to remember?
IMPORTANT: Gifts that have been carefully selected are symbols of love. Even so, the gift alone is not enough to keep a child's love tank full. A gift for an upset child usually does harm. The right moment is crucial.
Parents are often disappointed that their children do not respond happily and gratefully to gifts. Perhaps it is not their love language or other factors such as the wrong gift, inopportune moment, abundance, or parental disbelief.
Business
A gift is by no means always a gift of undisputed affection. In the business world in particular, they are often consideration for favors or even an attempt to bribe for a competitive advantage. You show yourself appreciative and interested.
Money gifts are one of the simple forms of gift. In the business world, it's usually no longer banknotes, but travel and various amusements. With banknote gifts, a child can learn to save and spend wisely. However, this requires special supervision at the beginning.
If the mother brings her child a present because the child has tidied up the room, it is a reward for an achievement. If I promise the child an ice cream, if they eat it up nicely, then it's more like bribery, manipulation, but not a gift. The child usually sees through our motives, sooner or later.
Dilemma
Too many parents love their children, but cannot get it across so that the child can understand their love. Often the parents unconsciously choose the wrong love language, or they do it right, but the child still has an empty love tank. In this state, the child cannot recognize or experience love language as such. As parents, you have to take the trouble to pick up the child from where they are. Easier said than done !
If the parents finally decide to give the child a special treat, this is linked to the expectation that the child will also happily and gratefully accept the gift. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, which wears parents down and often makes them give up. Unfortunately. Exactly then it is important to think about where the child can be picked up, what their current stressful moments are, where the needs are and how they can best be supported there. When you have found the neuralgic point, everything can quickly turn for the better.
Chestnut time - the mother goes with her child to collect chestnuts and turns them into something special for the whole family - a gift from nature of particular importance that can become a tradition.
Make Optimal Use of Gifts
If gifts are intended as a gift of love, size and price do not play an important role. What counts is the affection, the thinking, wanting to bring joy, the love behind it.
If we shop carelessly and hand over the gift without inner involvement, then this will soon become a matter of course for oversaturated children. They adjust their expectations. There are children who love the tension of unpacking more than the gift.
Beware of toys: the too large selection forces responsible parents to work extra: careful selection. Quality over quantity applies here. A game is there for learning so that life can be mastered successfully and should not destroy the child or his brain in the process (gaming). Choose games that are durable and stable, that can support the kids for long periods of time, that are not too expensive and not complicated. Every toy stands for values. Keep this in mind. War games encourage aggressive behavior towards others, maybe even towards parents.
It's unbelievable how many gifts our children have to deal with these days. Our affluent society does not make it easy for them. But we as parents can control it to some extent, right?
Pay Attention to the Motifs
How quickly do you get there, instead of dealing with the children's love languages, simply giving them a gift, a present instead of a presence, so to speak. The fact is that dedication demands commitment and gifts can be obtained quickly.
Some parents lack the time, knowledge or patience to strive to convey true security. The fathers in particular are challenged when they come home late. The working mothers, who sometimes feel guilty, sometimes justified, then quickly buy a gift based on these motives.
Christmas, birthday, Easter will definitely come - again and again - and again - someone will definitely be happy that we bought gifts !!!
Giving is not a panacea for a lifestyle that has got out of hand!
Rethinking our priorities is necessary from time to time. Allow yourself, if possible in pairs, the time to determine and eliminate any weak points by means of reflection.
Buy Love
Gift giving is often abused by separated parents over whom only one has custody. There gifts are intended to cover up the pain of separation or to calm one's conscience. Expensive and lovelessly chosen gifts then easily become a means of bribery to buy the child's love. At some point the children will buckle it up. Material things are no substitute for love, for no child.
Since the parents are role models for the children, they are led to a materialistic worldview where money is more important than people. Such damage to character is difficult to repair.
Often separated mothers live with their children in simple circumstances. The fathers could then take advantage of this to spoil the children with interesting occasions and gifts, which can lead to the children no longer wanting to go back to their mother. In doing so, the father unconsciously does the children a disservice, because the mother's important educational work is made considerably more difficult or even impossible. The children are unnecessarily weakened.
Divorced parents would do well to work together as optimally as possible, to pursue the same educational goals and to share joys and sorrows as often as is reasonable.
Toy store - less is more
Kennen Sie den 'Wer gibt mehr - Wettbewerb' ?
If the children's room is overflowing with toys, tidiness can no longer be thought of. The individual gift quickly becomes less important. The child can no longer cope with the toys emotionally. What was meant as a gain becomes a loss, a burden. Less is more.
Perhaps gifts are better that do not trigger storms of enthusiasm - which are usually short-lived - but all the more long-term joy. Why not play along with the child? This increases the value of the toy.
At a certain age, the children can be asked what they want. Sometimes it works. Money doesn't mean anything to young children.
When gifts are the mother tongue
Unfortunately it is the case that children - like us adults - can never get enough. You can tell that children with this love language react differently. A gift has a deeper meaning for them. They appreciate the wrapping, a special ritual that expresses affection for them. First they like the ribbon, the paper, the colors, then the slow unpacking during which they are the focus. The giver should be present wherever possible when giving gifts. You will get a warm hug.
The gift is given a place of honor, shown to friends and presented to you again. This gift is linked to your love. It is unimportant whether you made it yourself, found it or bought it. It is important that YOU have thought of the child.
If you have given a gift to one of your children who does not speak this love language, you can avoid an emotional disaster by never taking the gift back or reclaiming it.
For children with this love language, childhood is a wonderful time of memories because they can still indulge in parental love.
Wonderful ! This child learned that gifts bring joy and reflect affection and love. Wonderful !
