You’ve been there. You have something on your mind and want to tell someone how you are and what’s bothering you. The other person, however, is not really listening. which can easily lead to misunderstandings.
Correct Listening - an Ingenious Quality
Unfortunately, most people tend to listen poorly. Good listeners have often developed this skill by consciously working on it, or they may have a job where listening is important. Those who have learned to listen are always an asset to their surroundings.
But what does it mean to be a good listener? How can you be a better listener and give your counterpart a feeling of appreciation? In the following, I would like to give you 3 tips that will help you become a better listener.
We Are Different
Sure, men and women are equipped differently. We know that this also applies to our brain functions. While women have a strongly developed left hemisphere of the brain, where emotions live, men are right-brained. Which helps them cover more cognitive areas of life and thus take responsibility for family and work.
Women, who are potential mothers, are well-equipped to cater to their children's educational needs. We men can't quite keep up with that.
Men tend to be more intellectual. This should be a blessing to the family, not cause him to pull away from them.
No matter what culture, mothers have the best qualities when it comes to caring for and looking after toddlers. However, we men can provide good help and direction in their upbringing; not pampering, but strengthening the children so that they can become balanced adults.
Why is Good Listening so Important?
It is a deep need of every human being to be loved and respected by others. Through our daily interactions with our fellow human beings, we store the result of one of the most important questions that we carry around with us: AM I LOVED? WHO LOVES ME?
The answer to this question impacts our sleep, our performance and our quality of life.
LOVE (LINK) is the main source of motivation in life.
The more high quality love we receive, the stronger our motivation in every other area of life will be.
If I am not understood by others in my way of thinking and living, if I am rejected and disregarded, my love tank will suffer considerably (LINK).
But if I can enjoy attentive and active listening (repeating what has been said in one’s own words), I’m all set. My emotional love tank (LINK) will be filled and refilled and life will be a joy.
When we practice active listening, we strengthen our fellow human beings and help them enjoy a higher quality of life. Therefore, active listening is a key component of happiness!
1. LISTEN ACTIVELY
Active listening involves eye contact and conversation. It tries to understand the other person's perspective. Bad listeners just take in what is said passively, if at all. If you want to listen carefully, you can give the other person a short feedback to confirm what you have heard in your own words. This will make him or her feel happy and understood.
An Example
Suppose your wife tells you she is very stressed from all the work and added hassle at home. If you listen poorly, you would reply something like, “Oh, this will pass! I also have a lot on my mind, but at some point it will get better. "
A good listener shows understanding and empathy. Your reaction could be as follows: “I am sorry that you are going through a stressful phase. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed. How are you doing exactly with that?” The focus is clearly on the other person. You don't just assume how the other person is feeling, but ask questions - you change your perspective and take the other person seriously.
My wife is a good listener - thank God. As a teacher and adult educator, I also had to acquire this important skill. Active listening is a recipe for success in many professions.
2. Don't Give Rash Advice
Good advice is hard to come by. Many people do not understand when advice is desired and when their counterpart just wants to be confirmed. Be careful with your advice: only give it when asked. The difference between you and the other person is quite simple: the other person knows the whole story - you don't. You never have the same knowledge of a situation, feelings or actions as your counterpart.
How can you make an informed decision and offer good advice? We all often fall into the trap of giving advice, thinking we're helping the other person. However, it is better to help our counterpart to make the right decision for him- or herself. Recognize whether you are being asked for advice or whether the other person wants confirmation.
This can be wonderfully trained, especially in bringing up children: helping the child get on the right track so he or she can come to an intelligent and informed decision.
3. Judgment-free Communication
Similar to giving advice, caution applies to our internal evaluation processes. This can be very difficult, especially for people who have good judgment. When listening, our communication should first and foremost be free of condemnation. Listen. Be there for the other person. You never know the full story, you don't know why people feel the way they feel in certain situations. Try to accept this. Be empathetic and try to put yourself in the other person's position.
How do you react when you realize you are not being listened to carefully?
Would you say you are a good listener?
There is no real argument against love. Those who invest in it will be rewarded. Everyone can learn something. And our communication skills and social skills are a guarantee of success. Therefore – I wish you every success !!
Summary
It is obvious that active listening, giving advice very carefully and wisely and promoting your own values not verbally but practically, all of this has to do with real LOVE. Depending on the quality of love we have learned, it is harder or easier for us to integrate these methods into our own everyday life. I wish you every success with this.
