People with high EQ are privileged. You get more out of life, you can give and take more, and simply have an advantage. How come?
There are people who are happier than others. Why ?
About 50 years ago there was a very interesting experiment in Australia:
The Marshmallow Test
In 1968 the psychologist Walter Mischel gave 4-5 year old children the choice:
A reward NOW or a double reward LATER.
About every third child could wait for the later reward. Such children will be rewarded in many areas of life, which does not mean that the others cannot be successful too.
It wasn't until years later that he discovered how brilliant this test was.
Imagine having to predict the future of your four year old child. Whether it later performs well at school, has many friends, does not take drugs, leads a harmonious partnership, in other words, develops a successful, stable personality. What criteria would you use? An IQ test? Brain scan?
It's best to do the marshmallow test:
At the age of 4-6, give the child the choice between a marshmallow (which could be anything else the child likes), which they will get IMMEDIATELY, or two marshmallows LATER - the wait may take 15 minutes. The result: the longer the child is able to wait for the TWO marshmallows, the better it will cope with its life.
The astonishing predictive accuracy of the child's development was only discovered by the psychologist thirteen and twenty years later. The result was a sensation: All those children - about a third who could wait for the second marshmallow, were later balanced and cooperative, showed initiative and got good school grades. Even as adults, their behavior showed a lot of self-confidence and resistance to stress.
Daniel Goleman's bestseller “Emotional Intelligence” (1995), published 27 years later, brought the term EQ into the media for the first time. Goleman made the ability to forego short-term temptations for long-term goals one of the most important in coping with life. You can use this ability in all situations. That is what makes them so valuable.
Having to wait in the face of a dessert without knowing how long, many adults couldn't survive that better than children, right? How would you manage this challenge? Can you say NO to any of your needs?
You may be asking yourself: Can't you train children to do this well? That would be sensational!. And how do you have to do that? There should be studies on this, the results of which we are eagerly awaiting. Personally, I am convinced that this is possible. I try it out on my grandchildren myself.
Today, children often meet us so skillfully that they always get their reward thanks to their developed escalation system. Protesting, shouting, stamping, being angry up to throwing material, these are often the methods our children are misled into. Too bad.
It is and will remain one of the greatest challenges in raising children to make a NO count as a NO. It is the children's natural inclination to challenge parents in this area, and it is up to the parents to stand firm for the child's sake. This is the only way to raise happy children.
The fruits can already be seen in school. Since the motivation to learn - without motivation, there is no learning - is an important component of life, parents should particularly encourage intrinsic (internal) motivation (see EQ component 3 below).
What does this have to do with emotional intelligence?
Decide for yourself which of the following EQ components this candy test fits:
The five levels of emotional intelligence
Emotional self-awareness (perception of one's identity, emotional world and personality)
Emotional self-regulation (being able to handle perception well, wait, do without and be able to train)
Ability to self-motivate (direct inner motivators and use them for goals, be able to build hope, optimism and trust
Empathy, compassion, up to sympathy (understanding other people in their situation and helping if necessary)
Social competence (being responsible for several people, such as family, relatives, colleagues, associations, etc.)
Perhaps you have also come to the conclusion that the first three areas can be found in the M-test. They lay the foundation for success. The first three stages are about inner development, the latter two about opening up to the outside world.
It is now known that people with high EQ earn more, have better relationships, are less overweight and are happier in life.
You, dear reader, can develop each of these five components yourself.
We'll take a closer look at how this works in the blog after that. The next blog is about the areas of life that we can optimize.
It is said that you can only develop IQ up to around 20 years of age, but the EQ until the end of your life. That's good news again!
Isn't it a special pleasure to see older couples so happy? They 'managed' to make each other happy. Thank God. To reach that You must be emotionally intelligent, consciously or unconsciously.
Treat yourself to the pleasure of witnessing the marshmallow test 'live': Youtube
There are more published blogs on EQ:
EQ-Areas of Life
