Many people think that loneliness is not a problem these days. But if you look at the statistics, things look a little different.
See First Blog 1:
Dealing with LONELINESS - 1
Where Does Loneliness Come From?
Loneliness does not necessarily arise when good social relationships become fewer or even absent. Some people are also satisfied with few contacts.
Loneliness develops when we are involuntarily alone or have the feeling that existing social relationships and contacts are not enough. At the same time, lonely people are often ashamed of their situation, which can drive them even further into withdrawal and resignation.
Loneliness occurs in every age group: children, teenagers, young adults, middle-aged people and older people. These people lack companions, sympathy and friendship.
Factors that can trigger loneliness
Single-person households
The increasing number of single-person households increases involuntary loneliness. Especially if people feel lonely, being alone seems to be associated with an increased likelihood of mental illnesses such as depression or anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is not entirely clear whether being alone promotes mental illness or whether people with mental illness consciously seek the anonymity of big cities and a single household.
Aging of society
Because of our good medical care, people are getting older and older. At the same time, birth and marriage rates are falling. Older people are often not necessarily integrated into the family because, for example, relatives live in other cities or place little value on close family contacts.
In addition, poverty or health problems make it difficult for people living alone to participate in public life, especially in old age.
Overall, experts therefore assume that the proportion of lonely people will increase, at least in large cities.
Changed communication behavior
Communication is changing through social media. Although some people communicate actively with virtual contacts, their direct contact with real people is often lost.
Conversely, some people also find new contacts via the Internet that can develop into romantic relationships, friendships or professional partnerships in the real world.
Only Children
If the parents are heavily involved in work or are single parents and offers from kindergartens, schools or clubs cannot compensate for the parental absence, some only children become lonely. Changing kindergarten or school can also make children lonely if they have difficulty making friends.
Unemployment or moving to retirement (pension)
If work is canceled, colleagues and a structured daily routine are suddenly missing. At the same time, those affected have to restrict themselves financially, which is why they withdraw even more. In the long term, this can lead to loneliness.
Diseases
Chronic illnesses, cancer, depression, psychotic disorders and dementia in particular can leave those affected feeling isolated.
Critical phases of life
Difficult times such as puberty, separation from a partner, loss of close relatives, old age, change of residence or job can increase loneliness.
Bad experiences
In some cases, loneliness is also a form of self-protection because people have had bad experiences with society. Anyone who is bullied, is on the boss's hit list (bossing) or has other experiences of exclusion can potentially become lonely.
Extraordinary circumstances
The Corona crisis is an exceptional situation and currently requires limited contacts. In addition to private contacts, this also prevents professional care for risk groups: outpatient clinics are partially closed, psychotherapeutic consultation hours are canceled or are only possible via video, self-help groups do not meet. This can cause or increase loneliness in vulnerable populations.
We are all different. Some laugh a lot, others less. Some are often sad, while others go through life happily.
How Can Loneliness Make You Sick?
Do people get sick from loneliness or can you even die from loneliness? The fact is - chronically lonely people have a higher risk of:
chronic stress
Cardiovascular diseases
Sleep disorders
dementia
Depression
Anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders
Suicidal thoughts
As a result, the likelihood of premature death ultimately increases. In part, this may also be due to the fact that lonely people pay less attention to themselves and therefore lead a life that is more detrimental to their health. So they eat worse - lonely children become increasingly obese due to substitute food. Lonely people also smoke more often.
As health data shows, lonely people also see a doctor more often and are more likely to receive inpatient treatment - including for psychosomatic illnesses such as back pain.
It becomes problematic when loneliness is accompanied by immobility, helplessness and social isolation, especially for children, the elderly and disabled people. Life-threatening lack of care can then arise.
When Should You See A Doctor?
Many people are ashamed because they feel lonely and therefore do not seek help. This shouldn't be! If you cannot find a way out of loneliness yourself, you should bring yourself to see a doctor for your own good. This is especially true if they are also depressed or anxious.
Tip: During the Corona crisis, many clinics, psychiatric outpatient clinics and psychotherapeutic practices offer telephone and video consultations or online interventions as an alternative to a direct conversation.
What Is The Doctor Doing?
The doctor can first use questionnaires to test and record the extent of your loneliness. There is the UCLA (University of California at Los Angeles Loneliness Scale) or also called LONE (Questionnaire for Social Relationships, German version) and the KSE (Cologne Scale for Measuring Loneliness). You fill out such questionnaires yourself and thus help the doctor assess your social relationships.
The doctor will then work with you to find out what support you need. For example, it can be enough to structure your day better - for example with medically supervised programs such as the "iFightDepression program", with which you can manage yourself online and free of charge.
However, your doctor may also recommend psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy. In doing so, you learn to correct your perception of your personality and other people and can thus escape the negative spiral of loneliness. The therapist can also gently introduce you to social contacts, which is known as milieu therapy. Together with your therapist or other professional companions, you can practice and reflect on social contacts, for example by attending events together.
If loneliness is associated with mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder, the doctor can also prescribe appropriate medication (e.g. antidepressants).
Prevent Loneliness
To avoid becoming lonely in the first place, it is worth taking care of your own social network throughout your life - even beyond your family. Because marriages don't necessarily last forever. Older life partners in particular can die before you, and children often find their interest in life in other places.
